Things they don't have in Italy - thank God

Just back from a fortnight of zooming around Italy by plane, train and bikes. I love the madness of the place, but it's the bits they miss out that makes it really special: for example...


Health and Safety - just not available. You want to ride your bike in a tee shirt, shorts and Crocs? Hey, we're all grown ups

Queues? No chance - you want to get on the train? Get on the train. Let the old lady past, and her village and family will shove through too, leaving you on the platform wondering what the hell happened

Speed cameras - you missed the Caribineri posing with their braid in the sunshine? It might say "speeding" on the ticket, but really you're busted for missing their peacock moment

Fat people - not unless they're tourists. Ditto out of season veg: asking for garlic and artichokes in the north during May will mark you out as a friend of those idle Sicilians...

Drizzle - nope. Clear blue skies or thunderstorms are the main options. The endless grey we get in the UK never happens.

More on the Guzzi factory, riding the Circuito del Lario, and the Giro's demise when I can. And I need to lose some weight before I dare go back to Italy: the food (as ever) was epic